Armour of God

Paula came in this morning walking like she just got off a horse after an epic journey on a camel.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked her. She didn’t reply. “Enrique, check out Paula, she’s all pleasure bent!” I shouted merrily. Enrique came over and checked out Paula’s walk.

“Holy fucking shit!” Exclaimed Enrique. Paula made a spastic sound at him and continued her slow progress to the hot food counter. Paula moving like a 100 year-old female cowboy. We both stood and watched her and cheered her on with cries of, “go on, you bastard!” And “nearly there!” and “do it! Do it! DO IT!”

“Did he smash your back doors in?” I asked her because I didn’t want to go for the obvious. Enrique sniggered. Paula replied with a very high-pitched fake laugh.

Enrique wasn’t so worried about the originality of his statements. “So es true what dey say, huh?” He looked at me and nodded. I smiled but what he had said was pretty lame. Paula had made it to the counter. She held on to it for a bit to recover. Enrique is shit at being funny and he repeated himself, “es true, huh? Black men? Big cocks? Huh?” He wasn’t smiling so much now but Paula did a great job at ignoring him. “Is it true? IS IT!” Demanded Enrique, the humour gone from his voice.

“Easy there, Enrique,” I told him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Heh,” responded Enrique. He had removed his handkerchief and was dabbing his face.

“So a good night then?” I said because the mood was weird. I didn’t expect Paula to respond and I had begun turning back towards the front of the shop.

“I had an abortion,” Paula said in a small voice. I paused, I didn’t know whether to turn to face Paula or just continue to the till. I looked at Enrique.

“Woah!” He proclaimed with his hands up in front of him. He then backed away. He walked backwards all the way down the aisle and around the corner and as far as I know all the way into his office without looking where he was going. Not even once.

I decided not to turn back to Paula, she probably wanted to be alone. “Okay,” I said to, well, you know, let her know everything was okay. I then went back to the till and listened to her sob. It started to fuck me off after a couple of hours.

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