Get Ahead

“Where have you been?” Asked Paula.

“Where do you think?”

“Signing the sex offenders register?”

“Guess again.”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll give you a clue.” I took the truckers cap from my head and frisbeeed it at her. Gently. I’d gone to buy a hat because it was getting cold. “Got a new hat,” I said, picking up the hat and the boxes of Cup-a-Soup my poor aim had knocked from the shelf. “Did I miss anything?”

“Enrique had a seizure and we got an invitation.”

“We got an invitation?”


“To what?”

“A film premier.”

“For real? From Superman?”



“Enrique’s got it.”

I tapped my hat on my opposite hand. “Hmmm,” I said. Enrique was behind his desk with a hanky sized Turin Shroud on. “Sup?” I asked.

“I think I am dyi-“

“Tell me about this invitation?” I perched on the corner of his desk and watched as Enrique gestured to a pile of papers. The invitation was on the top. I picked it up.

Dear Enrique, Paula and Gregory

You are cordially invited to the Premier of my film, ROSA.

8pm Wednesday 12th of October at the Rotunda.



“Gregory?” I asked the office. “Who the fuck is Gregory?” I looked at the invitation. “And M?” Enrique groaned. “You’ve gotta go easy on the heroin,” I told him, grabbing hold of his nose bump and shaking it. Enrique flailed, stopping the instant I let go of his nose. I read the invitation again. Perhaps Paula could shed some light on this. I left the dark office. “Who the fuck’s Gregory?” I asked Paula.

“That’s you.”


“Yeah, he got your name wrong.”

“Who did? M? And who the hell is M?”


“Goddamit woman, you’re answering riddles with more riddles!”


“Who the fuck is Marcel?”

“Marcel! Worked outside for three years. The coal.”

“Oh,” I said. “Marcel.” I gazed out of the window. “Are we going?”

“May as well.”

I nodded.