Marcel Marcel’s Birthday party

“Bit shit having a birthday so close to Christmas?” That was my opening gambit. They were playing a card game and I didn’t know the rules. I can only play pontoon. Poker they were playing, I think. I remember thinking about how messed up it was that Paula seemed to know the rules, what with all her stupidity.

Then there was some talking. Marcel said he once owned a circus. I was sitting on my treadmill because Enrique only has a small couch and it was full of those three.”Bullshit!” I called when he announced that. A circus, as if! But the others were oohing and ahhing. He wasn’t flustered at all and continued. I drank more wine and pulled more faces. Things get really hazy. Marcel was saying something about America. “Enrique thinks we’re in America now!” I slurred and laughed a bit. “What a twat!” I laughed a lot at that one. Nobody else did.

Enrique thinks we’re in New Jersey. Seriously. I’m not even joking.

Marcel had an elephant, he was telling them that. That he had a elephant. Oh Jesus, I had to comment on that. “You had aplhant? An alaphlant. An ele-phant?”

Marcel had stopped even pausing at my drunken interruptions and that was pissing me off but the other two were spellbound by his obviously made-up story and that was fucking me off more. Once more I felt left out so I drank more wine. As I had nothing to compete with owning a circus I tried to steer the conversation around to an interesting fact that I knew from watching The Discovery Channel. Only 50 people died as a direct result of Chernobyl, I told them that. They were more interested in the little goblin’s stupid story. “Chernobyl fall off!” I added. That was a punchline to a joke I didn’t know the set-up of. I wished I’d stayed at home. I should have went home but I was too drunk.

“Marcel Marcel!” I shouted after my head rolled and then snapped back and I’d opened my eyes wide.

“Hey Marcel, how many people died… of Chernobyl?” I asked. He said he didn’t know. “You’re not having that vase.” I said. That’s right, I’d brought a vase with me. I’d taken it off our fridge. “You’re all too stupid.” I then adopted the brace position.

“Stupid!” I said. I kept saying it. I was ill. The garage was spinning violently. Good job I was in the brace position because something very hard hit me in the face. It was the concrete floor. I was so fucking drunk. I rolled onto my back and somebody covered me with a coat or blanket and I was out for the count.