On Ice

Enrique made me a Christmas card so I asked him if he wanted to go ice-skating. Yeah, sounds mad now. I like it better when I hate him. It’s easier.

Anyway he thought about it. It was probably only about three seconds, maybe five, but it seemed too long. If he’d thought for much longer I would have told him to go fuck himself but after three or five seconds he smiled and said, “I like dat.”

“Cool.” I replied, and punched him playfully on the arm.

I then went about doing what needed to be done in the shop. Sorting the papers, reading the papers. I was feeling pretty good about myself. It’s nice to be nice. I felt Christmassy.

Paula came in and just before opening we all filed into the office. They ate ends off the sausages rolls and I ate a packet of just out-of-date sliced turkey. I’ve given up carbs.

“We’re going ice-skating tonight,” I told her. “Me and Enrique.”

“Oh yeah?” She was surprised. So was I after saying it out loud.

Enrique was standing over his desk, he was holding a napkin over his chest while he leant forward eating his ends of sausage rolls, to ensure his white suit remained spotless. He was nodding and eating. When he’d swallowed Enrique dabbed his face and said, “I hope he don’ try to bum me in the asshole.” He then did that sex mime he does. “Hey, haime, chu no try to bum me, eh?” He was smiling and wagged a finger at me. I frowned. You fucking try and be nice to somebody. “And don’t make me play your kiddy veedyo games.” He laughed hard at that and then went back for more sausage roll.

Paula left the office.

“Why did you say that?” I asked him. He looked genuinely baffled.

“Hey, s’ joke, man.” He replied. “I sorry.”

Marcel, the guy from outside who does the coal came in looking for the key for the coal bunker.

“We go ice skating tonigh’.” Enrique told him. Marcel nodded, seemingly impressed. “Shou’ be good!” Enrique looked at me and nodded. I smiled back. “Unless he try to bum me in de asshole.” He held up a hand which Marcel slapped. Enrique was shaking and laughing. I wasn’t angry really, just, I don’t even know what the word is.

I left the office.

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